PRANKS!
by xxfanpirexx
Summary: The Cullens start pranking people. Edward "Kills" Bella, Jasper's hat, Rosalie on a "plane", Alice hitting on random people 2 and 3, and... EMMETT IN A PINK FURRY BEDAZZLED SPEEDO! YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT! Rated T for disturbing moments.
1. WALMART!

BPOV BPOV

One day, we were all sitting around the couch when Alice started laughing so hard, it looked the couch was going to split in two. Then, moments later Edward began doing the same thing. Before any of us could say anything, Edward spoke.

"Everyone in the Volvo!"

"And we're all going to fit how?" I asked, already nervous.

"Simple. You sit in my lap, Alice in Jasper's and Rosalie in Emmett's."

"You are so strange. Can't you just tell me where we're going?"

"Nope. Don't you ever like surprises?"

"Only from you. Now tell me because this is the wrong vampire to mess with. You have 10 seconds to tell me where we're going before I go kiss Emmett."

"You wouldn't."

"5 Seconds."

"I don't think you would."

Alice, probably having seen that I was serious raised an eyebrow at Edward. He fell out of his chair.

"Time's up, Eddie-poo."

I walked over to Emmett, and kissed him. Edward, nearly about to explode with jealousy, started shaking.

"Jeez, calm down." I walked over to him and kissed him even more deeply than I had Emmett.

"Better?"

"Much. Okay, undead. Into the car."

After we were all situated in our odd seating arrangements, Edward and Alice finally told us where we were going.

"WALMART!" They shouted together.

"Alice, dear," I said, "Are you feeling okay? Did you really stoop that low?"

"We're not shopping."

"And that means?"

Alice looked at me like I was a basket case.

"Pranks. Jeez, Bella. You are so dumb sometimes. Pay attention."

Edward's arm suddenly shot out, and then, my best friend was no longer in the car with us. I saw her running beside it, easily keeping pace.

"Nice."

"Thank you." Edward replied, turning his head to right, and then turning his face up to kiss my nose.

"We're here!"

I jumped. I hadn't noticed Alice get back in the car. My soon to be family started laughing at me then.

"Stop it. Just shut up, and let's go annoy these people. Now."

That only made them laugh harder. Edward picked me up and we all walked in the door. As soon as were in the bowels of the store, Alice turned to us.

"Okay, I'll go first as an example and then we can all take turns."

We all mumbled our agreement.

Alice walked over to a guy, about 30 years old, and his girlfriend.

"Hi," Alice said to him. "What's your sign? You're pretty cute! Can I have your number?"

"Um, no? I have a girlfriend. Sorry."

"Oh. That's okay. I _totally _understand." Alice turned to the woman.

"Hi," Alice said to her. "What's your sign? You're pretty cute! Can I have your number?"

"No! Jeez! I'm so not interested."

"That hurts!" Alice screamed. "Equal rights for bi-sexuals!"

She ran back over to us.

"That kind of stuff. Oh my God, Bella! Do it!"

Everyone, but Alice and Edward, who were laughing, looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Edward, give me your jacket. Alice, eye shadow."

I put on the make up so that I looked like I was depressed and hadn't slept for a while. I then put on Edward's jacket, and because it was too7 big, it made me look small. I hunched my shoulders, and grabbed a tissue from Alice. I then shuffled over to the guns and hunting section, my family slyly and inconspicuously following. I walked up to the guy at the gun counter, sniffling.

"Excuse me, sob sir, sob can you help me sniff ?"

"Oh course," he said, looking at me strangely.

"Do you where the anti-depressants are? Right now I feel like I could just take a gun and it all! You know?"

"Aisle 7." He said, looking terrified.

I shuffled off, and the minute I turned away from him, I began silently laughing. Although to him it would look like I was still crying. I rounded the corner, and flew back to my family.

"How was that?" I asked.

They were all laughing. Edward scooped me up in his arms.

"Oh my God! I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head. He's debating on whether or not to take his break now to get out of the store for a few minutes. Who's next?"

Rosalie immediately shrieked, "My turn!"

She walked up to a man father down the aisle from us.

"Oh. My. GOD!" she screamed. "I haven't seen you in so long! I missed you!" She bent her head and made out with him for a few seconds. The she screamed, "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?" She then slapped him and walked away.

Edward grabbed me by the wrist, the others tagging along.

"Pretend you're absolutely terrified."

"Why?"

"Because. I'm going to kill you." He smiled my favorite crooked smile and pulled me to the aisle with duct tape.

"Pick a color."

"Umm…"

"NOW! PICK A COLOR! BEFORE I GET ANGRY! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME ANGRY?"

I shook my head, my mouth open and eyes bugging out, grabbing a random roll of tape and throwing into the cart. He pulled a cloth strip from Alice's back. He quickly gagged me with it. He had two more in his hand. He bound my wrists and feet, slinging me over his shoulder.

"Start struggling." He murmured to me. I started thrashing around.

He also bought rope, a large gym bag, a couple bricks, a very big knife, and then walked over to the gun department.

"I need a gun."

"Um, two day waiting period." The man said looking at me thrashing about on Edward's shoulder.

"I know. I already have waited. My name is Mike Newton."

I tried not o laugh. Mike Newton? Nice, Edward. The man gave Edward the totally outrageously large gun.

"May I ask what you are going to do with that?"

"Um, I'm going to ki-hunt! Hunt with my wife, here. Got to go. Bye!"

Edward sprinted off toward to registers. He got some lipstick and drew a very convincing little bullet hole on my fore head.

"Into the body bag."

I climbed into the bag. He slung me, again, over his shoulder and proceeded. He dumped everything onto the counter. The man began scanning things. When I felt him try to pick up the bag, I heard Edward gasp softly. The man started to unzip the bag…


	2. What now?

SORRY! I ACCIDENTALY POSTED PART OF ANOTHER STORY (FRIENDS? OR NOT?) INSTEAD OF THIS CHAPTER. WHOOPS! BUT I FIXED IT! XD

Previously….

'_Edward sprinted off toward to registers. He got some lipstick and drew a very convincing little stab wound on my fore head._

"_Into the body bag."_

_I climbed into the bag. He slung me, again, over his shoulder and proceeded. He dumped everything onto the counter. The man began scanning things. When I felt him try to pick up the bag, I heard Edward gasp softly. The man started to unzip the bag…'_

The man started to unzip the bag, and I slid out, my unnatural stillness and whiteness coming in handy. I fell to the ground with a loud 'whumph'. The man fell to the ground with a thud, and I hopped up, and ran to the bathroom to wash my head. After my head was free of all traces of lipstick we walked back over to his family.

"How was that?" We asked them.

It took a while for them to stop laughing to answer.

"Sweet! My turn!" Said Emmett.

We all looked at each other, suddenly worried. Emmett smirked.

"What?"

"Emmett, you are no exactly the best judge of what is or isn't appropriate. Can you do a trial prank first?"

"What ever, girly little Edward. If you want me to." That was too much. Everyone began laughing again.

Emmett walked over to where a mannequin was. He held perfectly still in a totally ridiculous pose. His right hand was behind his head, and his left and was on his hip. His stuck his chest forward, and butt out. Because he was holding so still, people actually thought he was a mannequin. When one woman got particularly close, he suddenly became animated again, and started walking away, after looking at his watch and muttering, "I don't get paid enough for this."

The woman began breathing heavily, and every time she would walk past a mannequin she would walk a little bit farther away from it than everyone else.

"How was that, Edward?"

Edward looked at Emmett with appraising eyes.

"Alright, go ahead Emmett."

I looked at Edward and Alice fearfully. Alice looked at us and said,

"He isn't going to do anything stupider than any of the rest of us."

I heard a collective exhale, as all of us let out the breath we were unconsciously holding in. We followed Emmett. He walked into the Stereo department. He set the volume so low on them that you would need vampire hearing to hear it. He then changed them all to a polka station. Then, he turned the stereo and put the volume up as high as it would go, so that whenever they got turned on the music would blast out random Polka songs.

"Nice, Emmett. And your next idea will work, if we all help. EVERYBODY! To the alarm clocks!" Alice cried.

We all ran to the alarm clocks. We all had the same puzzled stares on our faces.

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked, unable to keep the curiosity out of my voice. He turned to all of us and said, "Okay, let's set _all _ of the alarm clocks to go off at the same time!"

We smiled and got to work. Two seconds later, all of the alarms were set. Alice closed her eyes and smiled.

"3…2…1…NOW!" As soon as the words left her lips, various alarms went off.

Beeping, Radios, Voices, Chimes, it all happened at once. We all started to head toward the store's entrance. All of a sudden I turned to Jasper.

"Did you want to do something?" I asked. He turned to me.

"Yes. Pick the medium of our next pranks."

TO BE CONTINUED!!

A/N Yea, I know, real short. But I have other stuff to do. Review or message me with the next prank things for them to do…creep people out in elevators… crank call… etc.


	3. Flight 493 to floor 73

A/N I BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

A/N I BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!

I know I said that I was going to update THAC, but I got a burst of inspiration! I usually go to the profiles of people who comment or add my story, I went to one person's, and I got Jasper's pranks! So yeah, thanks! And, that also means that reviewing is free advertising! Ivn't vat vierd? (Sorry, just watched Austin Powers in, Goldmember, so now I keep thinking about Goldmember. You'd have to see the movie to get the quote.)

JPOV

"How about we go to Seattle, and we find the tallest building we can, and mess with people in the elevator?"

My siblings all looked at each other, at their partners, back at me, and grinned.

"Oh. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Bella screamed. I was suddenly over come by waves of terror.

"Emmett! You sound like the Kool-Aid guy! Yah know, it's not cherry Kool-Aid in there. It's blood from people who drink Gator-Ade and Pepsi Cola, I swear to God!"

We couldn't help it; we had to laugh at her.

"You guys are so lucky that you don't have to drink, or he'd probably get you, too."

Edward shook her head at her.

"If he even tried anything, I'd knock his block off. So, to Seattle we go, then. Jasper, I never thought you had it in you, brother."

About 20 minutes later, due to Edward's insane driving, we were in the elevator of the Columbia Center, the tallest building in Seattle.

We got in the elevators, but didn't press a floor, just closed the elevators.

The elevator dinged, and rushed up to floor 5. A man got in, holding a briefcase, and looked at us. I smiled, and the man suddenly got freaked out. Hehe. I love my magical powers.

"Hi."

"Um, hi."

"Guess what!"

"Um, I don't know?"

"I've got new socks on!"

"Gee, kid. That's great."

"I have a question."

"What, kid?"

"Do you like my hat?"

"You're not wearing a hat."

"Yes. I am."

"No. You. Are. Not."

Bella looked at me.

"I like your hat, Jazzy."

With vampire speed, she pretended to pull a hat off of my head, while really grabbing a hat out of Alice's hand. The hat "miraculously" appeared, and she put it on her head, instead dropping it into Edward's hand. He then stuffed it into his pocket without saying a word. So, to the human eye, it would as if Bella had pulled an invisible hat off of my head, that became visible once it left my body, and put it on her head, where it disappeared. The man pressed the button for the next floor, even though his destination was still a dozen floors away. He stepped out quickly, and as soon as the doors shut, we all began laughing.

" Jasper, Bella," Rosalie gasped. "That was brilliant."

We both bowed.

"Ah thank you!" (Another Austin Powers reference. Sorry about that.) We said together.

Rosalie grinned and clapped her hands.

"Oh! I am so bad!"

Alice did the same thing.

"Oh! You are so bad!"

Edward looked at them, and frowned.

"Rosalie! You may be 'bad', but please, settle on one activity, not 375, 6,7…"

"Fine!"

After about 3 minutes, the elevator was paged to floor 16. At that floor, about 10 people got on. Rosalie smiled at all of them waved, walking to stand right in front of the doors.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard Columbia Center flight 493 bound for floors 20, 46, 52, 64, and 73. We are sorry for the delay in our departure. Please fasten your seat belt and refrain from smoking while the no smoking sign is on.

For your safety, all passengers are kindly requested to refrain from using portable telephones, televisions, CD players, or fm radios in the cabin. Thank you. A life jacket is in the pocket under your seat. To put it on, place it over your head. Clip on the waistband and pull it tight. Please do not inflate it while you are still inside the aircraft. An evacuation slide and life raft is at each door. Your crew will direct you to your door. Additional emergency exits are shown on the leaflet."

The people on the elevator looked at Rosalie rather nervously (ok, alright, the people were _oozing_ nervousness.)

Emmett leaned over to the person beside him, and stage whispered, "I'm kind of nervous...this is my first time flying..."

The man looked at Emmett, and just nodded his head. That's all he did. The elevator finally came to a stop at the last floor, and Rosalie held the button down so that doors would not open.

"We have just arrived, and we are now taxiing to Terminal 2. Welcome to Floor 73! For your safety, please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened until the fasten seatbelt sign has been switched off. Please do not remove your carry-on baggage until the aircraft has come to a full stop. At this time, communication is still ongoing between the flight deck and the control tower. For this, may we request our passengers to please refrain from using your cell phones until after you have disembarked. Before deplaning, however, may we remind you to check your seating area for any items you might leave onboard. On behalf of Columbia Airlines, Captain Emmett Cullen, First Officer Jasper Hale, this has been Rosalie, together with Edward, Bella and Alice, thanking you for flying with us. It was indeed a pleasure to have you onboard and we hope to see you again soon on one of your future flights. Thank you and we welcome you to floor 73!"

We all cracked up, the moment the last startled passenger was off board. That was hilarious! Edward looked at all of us in turn.

"How do you feel about messing with random people on the streets?"

A/N so… it has been a while since I updated. Sorry about that. I need a beta, for al of my stories, except Friends or Not, which I am deleting, (no where to take it.), this person needs to be patient, and must enjoy fixing mindless typos (long walks on the beach, must be a people person, not a dog person, and MUST BE TEAM EDWARD!! Jkjkjkjkjkjk!) Thank you, faithful readers!


	4. Dangerous

Now that Time Moves On is done, this is my priority. I decided to redo this chapter because it didn't seem right, and the italics disappeared, and made it slightly confusing…

I am Stephenie Meyer. This April person you speak of, she is stealing my work. Now, I have an appointment in 10 with the men in the pretty white coats…

BPOV

We all agreed with Edward's idea, was pretty good. We decided Emmett could go next, seeing as it'd been a while for him. He asked to stop at home first, and change, and then go. We, of course, agreed.

5 minutes later, Emmett walked out of the house, wearing a trench coat with God knows what underneath.

Or, what if…* shudder, shudder, twitch * he had nothing on underneath? *twitch, twitch, shudder *

"Bella, are you okay? That twitch doesn't look normal? Carlisle is just over there…"

"No, I'm fine…"

We continued on to the town, where Emmett halted. Directly. In. Town. Center.

Crap.

Emmett shrugged out of his little trench coat thingy, and…

I screamed.

I couldn't help it.

It. Was. Freakish.

Emmett was wearing a pink, bedazzled Speedo, with that freaky faux fur on the border. The word 'dangerous' was written across his "parts" in GOLD GLITTER!!!! And he had gold and silver glitter gel in his hair.

*shudder, shudder, twitch, shudder, twitch *

"Bella, are you sure that you don't need that to get checked out?"

"Yeah! Mm-hmm! Yepperdoodles!"

"Ok…"

Emmett began to strut around the square.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

Emmett walked up to Jessica Stanley who was prancing around the town like the spaz that she is, and began walking behind her, following her every move.

_I'm a blonde bimbo girl, in the fantasy world_

_Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly_

_You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,_

_kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky..._

_You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

Jessica looked scared; I didn't blame her.

(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic!

you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please

I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees

Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,

hit the town, fool around, let's go party

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic!

you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic!

you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

Emmett bowed, and grinned.

We couldn't stop laughing. Alice froze in a vision, and then turned to us.

"Charlie is coming! Go, we need to go to avoid getting caught!"

**A/N Better… sort of. I'll have the next real chapter up in a few. Tomorrow is my parents 16 year anniversary, so I'll be able to update tomorrow a bit, because I'll be home alone while they par-tay! It's almost 2009! My birthday is in 5 days, think I can have 70 reviews? If I can get two chapters out a day until then, and you guys give me 100 reviews, I'll post on my birthday, which I hadn't planned on doing. Please? **

**I made a Twilight shrine in my room, with both of my copies of each of the books, and then I will have framed pictures of everybody up soon. I'm a spaz, but it's why you love me so. And if you still haven't---- go check out xTwilightForeverx's story, Secrets. It rocks, and I beta-ed it.**


	5. Incarceration?

A/N One thing to remember---Bella is changed. She supposedly died in a car accident. She's not supposed to be 'alive'

EMPOV

We had barely moved 5 feet, before Charlie's cruiser popped up.

"Cullen Clan, freeze where you are, and put your hands in the air. We have a warrant out for your arrest!"

"Crap."

"Sir, may I ask why you are arresting us?"

"Cullen. Why are _you_ here?"

"I live here in Forks, sir."

"You kill my baby, and then you have the nerve to come back to this town? How is it, that when you were driving the car, you have not a scratch on you, and my baby was killed, care to explain?"

Every time Charlie said the word 'kill', Edward would flinch. He began to sink into his weird little emo thing he sometimes does when he thinks that he ruined Bella's life by changing her. He slid to his knees and began to do his creepy little sobbing thing he does.

Bella ran forward and wrapped her arms around him. He turned his head into the crook of her neck, and she stroked his hair. He began to calm down as she kissed his hair and muttered sweet nothings into his ear.

Wait-'sweet nothings'? I'M TURNING INTO A GIRLY BOY LIKE EDWARD!

I heard Edward snicker, and whisper something into Bella's ear. She hissed at me: "Edward is _not_ a girly boy! I would know."

Ugh. Creepy mental image.

Charlie took that moment to call the attention back to himself.

"See! She's only been dead a few years, and now you have Little Miss Bubble Blowing Bimbo at your beck and call!"

Bella stood up to her full height of 5'4''.

"Dad, I would appreciate if you could not talk about me like that, and _finally_ be nice to Edward."

Charlie looked as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Bella? But…but… You're supposed to be dead!"

"I am."

"But…"

"Do you believe in the supernatural, Charlie?"

There are so many ways that could be misconstrued. But, of course, he would assume she was talking about ghosts. I hope.

"Bella…but why are you with them still? Edward killed you. Shouldn't you hate him?"

Edward did his little girly sob again, and Bella kissed his forehead.

"Edward isn't the one who killed me…"

"Then who did? Tell me, Bella! Tell me, and I'll have them arrested!"

"It was… it was…"

"Who?"

"Jacob Black."

"No! Jacob would never do such a thing! You have to be a figment of my imagination because the real Bella loved Jacob. Now, Cullens, you need to come into the station with me."

"Why?"

"We have a warrant for your arrest."

"On what charges?"

"Indecent exposure, disruption of the public environment, and the assault of Mr. Doe."

"Who is Mr. Doe?"

"The man that your wife slapped in Walmart."

"You still need to be more specific. There were so many Doe's, Tai Kwan, Cookie, Dosie…"

"Okay, cut the crap Emmett. Everybody, in the squad car."

Esme and Carlisle are going to kill us.


	6. Accomplice

**C'mon! 5 reviews? That is so unbelievably lame…. Almost 2009! It is, to my friends overseas… WOOT WOOT! C'mon, guys, even if it's just to say 'Hi, April' I really appreciate reviews. I will with hold updates, if it gets to that. If everyone who read yesterday had updated, we would be almost there.**

CARLISLEPOV

I was in surgery prep, when one of the nurses ran in.

"Doctor Cullen: One of your daughters is on the phone, she says that there is an emergency down at the jail. Would you like me to have her call back later?"

"No, I've got this. Do you know which daughter?"

"Bella, sir."

"Thank you."

If Bella was calling from jail, there must be something going on: she and Edward were the poster children of our family.

"Bella?"

"Oh, thank God, Carlisle. Can you go down to the jail?"

"Why?"

"We are in a bit of a pickle."

"Care to elaborate?" Why is she being so vague?"

"We got arrested."

"We being…"

"All of us. It was Alice's idea. We went to Walmart and did stuff, then we were in the Columbia Center elevator, and then we were at City Square, and then Charlie comes and arrests us."

"Charlie?"

"Yeah, we talked him into thinking that I am a ghost. Everything is a-okay. But you need to bail us out."

"What are the charges?"

"Assault, disturbing the peace, and indecent exposure."

"What is the bail?"

"All together?"

"Yeah, I'm going to try to get you all out at once."

"$315,750."

"Yikes. I'll be over soon."

"I'll tell the others."

"And, Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Who had the smallest and biggest bail?"

"I had the smallest, with 2250, and Edward had the largest with 102,250."

"How…?"

"Kidnapping charge. I'm only being charged as an accomplice to everyone else's charges."

"Alright, I'll be down soon."

"Thank you, daddy."

Daddy? Bella had never called me daddy before! I wanted to be a father figure to her, to all of the kids, but I wasn't sure if I managed it.

**A/N Short, yes. It's really just a filler chapter. I have a math problem, and with it you can figure out who had what bails. Alright?**

**R-2500+Ed/2+Em/2**

**Ed-102,250**

**B-R/2+Em/2**

**J-R/2+Ed/2+Em/2**

**Al- R/2+Em/2+Ed/2**

**Em-R/2+Ed/2+2000**

**And it all equals **_315,750._

**The reason lot of things are /2 (divided by 2) is because almost everybody is being charged as an accomplice.**


	7. Bob from the Bubbles Factory

A/N I know I said that I'd post twice a day, but I was at my friend's house on New Year's, and then I got my computer taken away then saw Twilight with my mom. I'm having my birthday party today. Woot Woot! 13! And thank you, Evil-Lil-Angel-08, for attempting the math problem. SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE!

BPOV

Every time the door would open, we would all look over to see if it were Carlisle. And then, of course, then one time we don't look, Carlisle ends up smack dap in front of our cell.

"Carlisle! I-"

"Dad!"

"Oh thank God!"

"Hi."

"Save me!"

"Too…many…thoughts…"

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP EXCEPT BELLA!"

"Hi, Dad."

"Have any of you learned anything from being in here?"

"DON'T LISTEN TO ALICE!" we all screamed.

"If you guys had learned that years ago, everything would be perfect now. Okay, I'll go bail you guys out, and then we can go."

"Yay!"

Carlisle had us bailed out and at home relatively quickly.

"You guys are not permitted to leave this house unless either Esme or myself or with you. Understood?"

"Yessir…" we all chorused.

Carlisle left the room, and Emmett grinned. He whipped out his cell phone, and dialed a number.

"Hello, this is Jessica." Hadn't he harassed poor Jessica enough?

"Hi! I'm Bob from the Bubble Factory, and I saw bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles..."

Jessica hung up the phone, and Emmett called back.

"…and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles..."

We only then heard Jessica pick up.

"Hel-"

"…and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles"

"GOOD BYE BOB!"

Emmett tossed his phone to Jasper.

Jasper quickly dialed a number.

"Hello, this is Mike."

"Hi! Is your refrigerator running?"

"Haha. I know this one. No, my refridgerator is not running."

"Oh, well this is Sears Home Repair Service, we'll be right over!"

"GAH!"

Jasper hung up the phone, and tossed it to Alice.

"Hey."

"Mike…?"

"Yeah."

"Where do babies come from?"

"Oh, jeez. Most babies come from the stork who delivers the Babies to the Cabbage patch isle of the grocery store, although some people crawl out from under rocks, and some are hatched."

"Mkay. Thank you!"

Alice tossed the phone to Rose.

"Hello, Clearwater residence, Sue speaking."

"Hi Sue! It's Lisa Meyers from high school! How is life going? where did life take you after high school?"

"Lisa Meyers…"

"Yeah! Are you still living down in La Push?"

"Yes…"

"We should get together and have lunch one day to catch up!"

"We should!"

"How about the Lodge tomorrow at ten?"

"Sounds good, bye Lisa!"

"Bye!"

We all cracked up. That was hilarious!

I caught the phone that Rose tossed to me, and called a number.

"Hello, is Jeremy there?"

"Wrong number. Sorry!"

"My bad!"

I hung up.

The rest of the family was looking at me like 'wow. That was lame.'

I then tossed the phone to Alice. She grinned, and hit the redial button.

"Hey, Jeremy?"

"Wrong number, lady."

"Oops!"

Rose grabbed the phone.

"Jeremy! I haven't seen you in so long."

"My name is Fred."

Emmett took the phone, and called a pissed off Fred.

"WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT????????"

"Hi, this is Jeremy. I was expecting to get a lot of calls today but I realized that I accidentally gave my friends this number."

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

We all cracked up, and handed the phone to Edward.

Edward dialed a number, and then a voice came over the line.

"Hello, this is the National Anger Control hotline, how may I help you?"

"Hi. Okay, so I have this problem with my anger, and I- wait, someone is at my door."

Edward got up, set the phone down, and went into the other room.

"Who are you?! Get outta my house!!"

I then heard what sounded like a struggle. Edward came back in with a gun, and shot me. I screamed, because it was kind of unexpected. And it tickled. I hit the ground with a loud thump. Edward shot me again, and I shut up. I voice came through the phone.

"Oh my God!! Sir?! Are you alright?! Oh my God!!"

Edward simply hung up the phone.


	8. It!

That was it: the end of Pranks! I hope you guys enjoyed it, and I now have a story posted about Bella and Jasper, all human. I hope you guys check it out!


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